Unfiltered Story #106928

, , | Unfiltered | March 8, 2018

It’s been a long day, and I wore sandals to run the day’s errands, which included getting several clothing items for my nephew, and a clock radio. I sit down in one of the enclosures at the bus stop, to rub my tired feet.

Weird Dude: *walking in a few seconds after me, as I take my sandal off* Heyyyy, Is this seat taken?
Me: *propping my foot on the bench, with my stuff in front of it* Yes.
Weird Dude: So I can sit here? *tries nudging my stuff away, to get near my feet*
Me: No, you may not. *re-arranges stuff, and then starts working the aches out of a bunion*
Weird Dude: Uh, whoa… mind if I take over? I uh… I know a lot about getting aches out of feet.
Me: I do mind. Please leave me alone. *continues working out an ache in my other foot*
Weird Dude: *looks down* Oh. Sandals are amazing. Simply the best! *is staring at my feet super weirdly*
Me: The worst, actually. Been a long day.
Weird Dude: So… can I rub your ankles?
Me: No! Don’t ask again.
Weird Dude: How about for $100? Would you let me do ya for a hundred bucks?
Me: NO!
Weird Dude: $250? You’d get the full foot for that…
Me: Hell no! Go away! *I grab all my stuff*
Weird Dude: Per foot?
Me: NO!

I remember I have socks at this point in one of my numerous bags. I get them, quickly put them on, and shove my feet back into the sandals.

Weird Dude: Ugh! Argyl…oh hey wow that actually works with your pretty li’l feet. *puts his hands in his pockets*
Me: Oh my god, GO AWAY! *brandishes clock radio box*

At that moment, the mall cop who does hourly rounds at the bus stop finally appears. But, they’re not going into any of the enclosed spaces, like the one I was in.

Me: HEY! SECURITY! *bangs on a metal wall of the enclosure*
Officer: *runs in* Oh. Oh damn it, Dan!
Me: …?
Weird Dude: I… I mean, I didn’t mean any harm! I just wanted to give her a good foot rubbin’!
Me: For $250 per foot? And you can’t take no as an answer?
Weird Dude: *is rocking back and forth with his fists clenched in his front pockets* Uhmmmm…
Officer: *looks him up and down, while opening the handcuffs* Oh for fuck sake, Dan, you’re coming with me now.

After he’s Mirandized, we’re taken to the security room and I give my statement. The officer told me a few months later, when I asked, that he pled guilty to all charges filed against him.