Unfiltered Story #105417

You know when your writing down something and you’re overhearing a conversation at the same time, then you wrote down something you didn’t mean to because you heard it in the conversation? Happens to me quite a bit except sometimes I’ll say something I didn’t mean to, I just saw the word and it’s added to the conversation. This was one of this hillarious mistakes.

I’m in the guard office and I reach for a magazine. To my surprise, I instead pull out a cake covered with plastic wrap on a plate.

Me: What? How?

Coworker: Oh, I’m so sorry! That’s mine, I came in and had to rush to my lesson, so I quickly put it there. Sorry.

Me: Oh that’s okay (hands it back to him)

As I’m handing it back to him, I looked down and see a magazine with an article about Kim K’s 72 day MARRIAGE. This is when my brain diverts because what I meant to say was:

Me: That’s okay, for a second I was like score! Free cake!

Instead, what I said was:

Me: That’s okay, for a second I was like score! Free marriage!

Then picked up a magazine and started to read it because I didn’t realize what I said. Meanwhile, my coworker is still holding the cake and looking at me confused. That’s when it hits me.

Me: …Did I say marriage?

Coworker: Uh, yeah.

Me: Oh no, oh no. Sorry. That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to marry you.

I had to explain to him what Jude happened to the best of my abilities. Luckily, he found it funny and wasn’t creeped out anymore.