Unfiltered Story #101654

(I’m at Urgent Care because I suspect I have a bladder infection, and my regular doctor is on vacation. I’m in my 20’s and female. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with some “female” problems that require a specific type of medication. The doctor has just come back in with my test results.)

Doctor: Well, it’s not an infection. Tests are negative.

Me: I’m having all the symptoms of a bladder infection. Is there something else that could be causing it?

Doctor: Are you pregnant?

(I can’t help myself: I bust out laughing. The doctor raises an eyebrow.)

Me: Ah, sorry. It would be the immaculate conception, if you know what I’m saying.

(My regular doctor always laughs at that joke. This doctor frowns at me.)

Doctor: *in a snotty tone* Well, you COULD be. It’s not impossible, you know.

Me: Let me put it this way: I’m a virgin. Technically impossible.

Doctor: Yeah? It says on your chart that you take birth control. What do you need that for, if you’re a virgin?

Me: Because my periods are horrific without it!! Not everyone takes birth control just to have sex!

(There was no more talk of pregnancy after that. I was diagnosed with a stomach virus. Next time, I’ll wait until my regular doctor comes back. Yikes!)