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10 Wild Stories About Customers Who Are Confused By Home Improvement

| Right | March 5, 2021

Dear readers,

We’ve all spent a lot more time than usual sitting around our houses in the last year. And whether we finally realized how crooked those tiles are or we just plain got bored, many of us have taken this time to do some home improvement!

There are a great many household projects a person can do by themselves; others will require a little more expert attention. And these ten stories from our archives show that, for some home improvement shoppers, there is no project so simple it can’t be messed up!


Serious Lack Of Lumber-standing – You know, lady, you can always come back.

No Need To Be Shirty – You’d think you’d have figured that out earlier in the process.

Logic That Doesn’t Hold Water – Customers like this are the reason for stupid warnings like, “Water not included.”

The Problem With Analogies – Okay, but Funfetti paint would be super cute in a nursery or something.

Surely Knot Elastic – This was almost a clever solution.

The Customer Is A Fool, Of This I Am Curtain – Hits from the comments: “Well, at least he thought to ask, rather than following his assumption to the natural conclusion and just buying the curtains.”

You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy – This is so not a-door-able.

Some Assembly And Intelligence Required – And this idiot still has to assemble the thing? Good luck!

Visual Innuendos – You’re going to need some really secure hardware for that.

Home Improvement, P.I. – Does anyone else have whiplash?


We hope you enjoyed this Home-Improvement-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Customers Who Would Get Even Their Plastic Plants Killed


23 Crazy Stories About Camping, S’mores, And The Great Outdoors!

Question of the Week

Tell us about a customer that lied or scammed to get what they wanted.

I have a story to share!