10 Reasons Why Your Cashier Probably Hates You

Right | December 26, 2015
1. Your cashier has just started the day and you want change for a hundred dollar bill.

Yeah, not gonna happen. On a side note, if we had a dollar for every time we heard “Here’s a hundred dollar bill; I just printed it this morning!” we would ironically have more than a hundred dollars!

2. An electronic signature is required, so I’m just gonna go ahead and use this REAL pen.

Equally annoying are the amount of times other customers point out “Oh wow! Some idiot used a REAL pen!” Thanks for reminding me, as I’d totally forgotten the ten times it happened already this morning.

3. When you complain about the prices to us, because obviously we have complete influence in this area.

So you don’t like the price of the milk? Well then, please wait here while I call up the CEO of the entire company to let them know; I’m sure the price will drop immediately.

4. When the conversation you’re having on your cellphone is way more important than anything I have to say.

Please, continue talking about how Melissa is sleeping with Graham behind Trisha’s back. I’ll just add this $10 donation to charity while you’re too busy to acknowledge me.

5. When you totally ignore the “Ten items or less” sign on the express checkout.

So when you see the line of customers with tiny baskets containing just a few items, you didn’t think you were out of place with your huge overflowing cart that looks like you’re preparing for the zombie apocalypse? Even more annoying is when you innocently proclaim “Oh? Ten items or less? I had no idea!” Shut up fool, we know you’re lying!

6. When you don’t seal up your raw meats.

Because there’s nothing I enjoy more than blood all over my conveyor belt.

7. When it’s my fault when your card is declined.

Trust me, I’m going to say what all your exes should have said to you: “It’s not me; it’s you.”

8. When you’re trying to buy alcohol without ID.

It’s the law people! And you should know that the only people who ‘forget’ their ID are the ones too young to buy it. Unlike you, I wasn’t born yesterday, so buy some Sunny D or go away.

9. It isn’t scanning? It must be free!

Just… no.

 

10. And the absolute worst of all, when you tell us that you’re outraged at our lack of customer service and you’re never coming back to our store.

Oh my gosh! I’m totally going to miss the literally DOZENS of dollars my company makes from you, which is totally worth all the tantrums, the entitlement, and you treating me like I’m not a human being. How will I possibly cope?! The image below conveys how we feel when you tell us this:

So please, we implore you; the next time you’re at the checkout, and we seem to be having a bad day, ask us how we are doing, smile, treat us like human beings. Trust us, it’ll make our day!