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10 Hilarious Times That Retail Workers Literally Could Not Explain It Any Simpler…

| Right | June 22, 2021

Dear readers,

We get that sometimes you have to break some concepts down for some customers to get them. “Explain it to me like I’m five” is a common phrase when you want a super simple explanation. But some customers, no matter how simply you explain it, still just don’t seem to understand how certain things work.

We’ve rounded up ten stories from our archives about confused customers to whom you literally could not explain things any simpler – and still didn’t get it!


Customer Service II: The Reckoning – “Why didn’t you just say that?” Because it was a last resort.

Opposite Day Strikes Again – We’d ask how it went when the customer showed up, but we can guess.

The Lights Are On But Nobody’s Home – The title says it all here.

The Danger With Rhetorical Questions – We really hope they just realized their stupidity and hung up. But we doubt it.

Sometimes, Even Yoda Isn’t Enough – We. Are. Not. A. Bank.

Ah, Managers – If it’s stupid but it works, is it still stupid?

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4 – Where do you even start with a customer like this?

Whole Grain, Half A Brain – You could use your toes, but we’d rather you didn’t.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water, Part 2 – Next time, I think you’ll have to walk them right to it. And pray they don’t somehow still get lost.

Back Tea The Basics – Hits from the comments: “Well, that learning curve was steep.”


We hope you enjoyed this roundup about customers who can’t understand even the most simple explanations! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Times The Police Made It Official That Stupid Is A Crime


10 Funny Stories About Stupid Customers Who Didn’t Know What They Were Eating

Question of the Week

Has a customer ever tried to cross you and lived to regret it? What happened?

I have a story to share!