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10 Hilarious Stories About Customers Who Should Not Be Alive!

| Right | September 17, 2020

Dear readers,

We deal with stupid customers every day here at Not Always Right. Once in a while, however, we come across a special kind of stupid, a level of moron so all-consuming, an intensity of ignorance so concentrated, that we are honestly surprised these customers are still alive.

We present to you ten hilarious tales of customers who, by all rights, should not be alive…


Money To Burn – Don’t know if they’re stupid or gassy, but they’re somewhere in that zone…

Not Enough Oxygen In The Brain – Why do you have an alarm if you don’t know how to respond to it?

Hot Air Doesn’t Just Come From Saunas – Yes, I’m a lifeguard. Now let me guard your life.

Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 3 – Pretty sure if this guy is a fireman he should be fired.

Deal With The Burning Issue First, Part 2 – It’s easy! Just dial 0118 999 881 999 119 725… 3.

Making A Rash Decision – Delicious? Yes. Worth dying for? Maybe not.

Totally Plastered – Hits from the comments: “Sounds like the customer needs brain surgery to replace theirs with one that actually works.”

Closing The Barn Door After The Barn Has Burned Down – That’s not… But you… GAH!

The Featherweight Watchers Program – Whatever it takes to get you to stop eating birdseed.

At Lagerheads – Trying to decide if a universal key would be extra convenient… or very inconvenient if you lost it.


We hope you enjoyed this roundup about dangerously stupid customers! Let us know in the comments! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Hilarious Stories About Customers Versus Mother Nature


23 Weird And Funny Stories About The Strangest Customers Ever