1-900-WAR-PATH

Me: “Thank you for calling [Phone Company]. How may I help you today?”

Female Caller: “I’ve got this charge on my phone bill for almost $200, and I didn’t call that number.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s not a problem. Let me get your phone number and I will pull up your bill.”

Female Caller: *gives phone number*

Me: “Okay, I see one phone call to [phone number] for a total of close to $200. What I will do is call the number and find out what it is. If they know you, I can not credit you for this; if it is a business number, I also can not credit you for this.”

Female Caller: “Well, nobody in this house called that number. It’s just me and my husband, and we don’t know that number!”

(I put her on hold and call the number; it turns out to be a phone sex hotline.)

Me: “Ma’am, thank you for holding. I’m sorry, but that is a business number that charges per minute. They actually added the charge, not ourselves. I can’t credit your account.”

Female Caller: “What the f*** do you mean you can’t?! I demand this off my bill!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but they added this charge, not us. They billed it through us to you for calling them.”

(At this point, I can hear her husband is in the background yelling and cussing about it, too.)

Female Caller: “If you keep saying it’s a business that charged this, what is it?!”

Me: “Um…’Big Girls…Want Your Love,’ ma’am…”

Female Caller: “What in the h***?! Nobody called that–” *both she and her husband suddenly go quiet*

Me: “…Ma’am?”

Female Caller: “I will deal with this b***s**t myself!” *slams down the phone*