Caller: “When is my DSL install going to be done?”

Me: “In two days, sir.”

Caller: “My wife and children just died in a car accident yesterday. I need the internet sooner than that.”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. I will provide you a complimentary dialup account until your DSL is installed.”

Caller: “But dialup is too slow…cancel my order!”

Me: “Sir, if I cancel your order and you wish to schedule service again later, there is a three week wait.”

Caller: “I don’t care! Do it!”

(The next day, the same customer calls back.)

Caller: “Hi, I need to know when my DSL is being installed.”

Me: “Sir, you canceled your order yesterday. Would you like me to reschedule it?”

Caller: “Yes, but I’m not waiting weeks for it, my wife is divorcing me and my kids need it for school.”

Me: “I’m glad to hear that your wife and children have recovered from the fatal car accident.”

Caller: *silence* “So…can I still get the dialup until my DSL is installed?”

Me: “Absolutely!”