Zombies Need Debt Too

(I work in customer service for a chain store credit card. I get a call from a manager, calling on behalf of a customer.)

Manager: “Hi, one of our customers just applied for a store card and she’d like to use it today. Can you look that up for me?”

(After pulling up the application, I see that the name on the application doesn’t match the customer’s name. However, for security reasons, I’m not allowed to come right out and say that.)

Me: “I’m afraid that application was declined due to some of the information not matching. Usually this means a typo somewhere. Could you have your customer try again, please?”

Manager: “Okay, she just tried it again. Did it go through this time?”

Me: “No, it’s still saying that the information isn’t matching. Um, you keep saying ‘she’, but on the application, it says ‘Mr.’. Is she applying jointly with someone?”

Manager: “I’ll ask.” *pause* “Okay, she says everything she does is in her late husband’s name, so that’s the social security number she’s using.”

Me: “Thank you. I’m not sure how her temperament is, so we’re going to have to be delicate about this. Could you very tactfully let her know that [store name] does not issue credit to dead people?”

Manager: *laughs* “Will do. Thank you!”