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  • Yum, Bible Ham Paste

    | Suffolk, VA, USA |

    (I use to work in a deli at a grocery story. This story takes place there.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want the extra cheap-a** ham.”

    Me: “How thin do you want that?”

    Customer: “Bible-paper thin.”

    Me: “Um…ok?”

    (It should be noted that slicing the “extra cheap-a** ham” too thin results not in ham, but in a ham-like paste)

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Customer: “You call that thin? You obviously aren’t a religious man, I can see.”

    Me: “Ok…”

    (I ended up giving him about $3.00 worth of ham paste and he walked away happy, so I guess it all worked out.)