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    You’ve Got To Be Kitten Me

    | USA | Language & Words

    (Two of my coworkers both speak Irish fluently. I’ve picked up a few phrases from them. They are having a conversation in Irish when this happens. Please note: the female coworker has a medical condition where she twitches.)

    Customer: “EXCUSE ME! How DARE you?!”

    Female Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Apologize to me, immediately!”

    Female Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “You were just talking about me! I heard my name! [Name]!”

    Male Coworker: “You mean [Irish word]?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Female Coworker: *twitches* “I am sorry for the confusion, ma’am. In Irish, [word] means ‘kitten’. We were talking about the kitten my neighbor just bought his daughter.”

    Customer: “No! I know it was my name!”

    (The customer starts screaming bloody murder, so I approach.)

    Me: “Is there something I can help with?”

    Customer: “They were insulting me in some… some HEATHEN SPEAK!” *points at my female coworker* “And THAT ONE is possessed or something! She won’t stop twitching!”

    (Suddenly, the customer swings her purse violently at us, but thankfully none of us are hit.)

    Me: *to my employees* “Are you okay?!”

    Female Coworker: “I’m fine. And yourself?”

    (The customer screws up her face, balls up her fists and starts screaming again. She wouldn’t stop, so I had to have her arrested and taken out of the store.)