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  • You’re Not On Candid Camera

    | United Kingdom |

    Me: “That will be 23.75.”

    Customer: “Hey, weren’t you that guy from Romeo and Juliet?”

    Me: “Yes, I was. Did you see the performance?”

    Customer: “I did, but why are you working here?”

    Me: “Oh, I do this to get some work while I’m not acting.”

    Customer: “Oh, no!”

    Me: “What’s wrong?”

    Customer: “This is one of those joke shows isn’t it? I’m on camera!”

    Me: *laughs* “No, it isn’t. Don’t worry, actors just need more than one source of income sometimes.”

    Customer: “Quick! Is a man gonna jump out of my food bag or something and scare me?”

    Me: “Um, no. Don’t worry, I’m just working here part time.”

    (She looks through her shopping bag.)

    Customer: *turns to the person behind her* “I’m famous! I knew I was on camera look!”

    (She pulls out a snow globe from her shopping bag.)

    Customer: “You were gonna get me with this, weren’t you? Trying to act like you could see the future! It’s okay, dear. You can stop being in character now. You can come out now, camera crew!”

    Me: *playing along* “Well you got us, ma’am. I have to say, nothing escapes you!”

    (I turn to a camera that isn’t there.)

    Me: “Follow us next week when we try to pull a gag on a petrol station customer! That’s a wrap. Thanks for playing, miss!”

    (The customer happily pays and leaves.)