I Love You, Ew

(I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months, and while we have spent a lot of time together, we haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet. He is opening my car door for me; we are laughing and joking as I sit in the car.)

Him: *out of nowhere* “I love you.”

(Both of our eyes get as big as saucers. Before I even have a chance to react, he puts his hand on the side of my head, pushing me the rest of the way in the car.)

Him: “Go away. I said nothing.”