You Can’t Fix Stupid

| Alberta, Canada | Extra Stupid

(I am calling back a customer who had a 6-year-old TV with a cracked screen. Unfortunately, due to its age, we can no longer get parts for it.)

Me: “Hello, we’d like to let you know that unfortunately we are unable to repair your product. The parts are discontinued.”

Customer: “So, you can’t fix it?”

Me: “Correct.”

Customer: “So you can fix it?”

Me: “No, the parts are unavailable.”

Customer: “Can you order them?”

Me: “No, the parts are discontinued.”

Customer: “You can order them somewhere else, yes?”

Me: “No, we cannot fix this unit at all.”

Customer: “Does [brand name] carry the part?”

Me: “No, they don’t.”

Customer: “Okay, so you can get it fixed, right? Test it again?”

Me: “No, we cannot fix it.”

Customer: “So it can’t be fixed?”

Me: “It cannot be fixed, ever, unfortunately.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll call you back when it’s done!” *click*