You Can Lead A Horse Doctor To Water

Caller: “Hi, this is [Name] with [Co-op Store]. I need to return some [animal] vaccines that are out of date.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. Let me just look up your invoice so I can see when you last bought this item…”

(I take a few moments to check on her past vaccine orders.)

Me: “Ma’am, the last time you bought this item was in 2009. That was three years ago.”

Caller: “Yeah, so? I need to have it returned so I can get a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t return this.”

Caller: “Why the h*** not?!”

Me: “If I came to your store three years ago and bought a vaccine, would you let me return it today and give me a refund?”

Caller: “Well, that’s absurd. Of course not. You would have had the vaccine long enough to use it before it went out of date… oh… I see… have a nice day.”