Me: “I would be happy to process that payment for you today. First, could I have the name exactly how it appears on the card?”

Customer: “Master Card.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I am looking for the human’s name that is on the card.”

Customer: “Capital One.”

Me: “No, not that one; the human’s name that is on the card.”

Customer: “I already told you, it’s Master Card!”