Won’t Make Ends Meat With That Attitude

(I am about 16, and have been a vegetarian for a couple of years. My mother and I are in a restaurant and we’re preparing to order food. Our server is young, maybe 18 or 19.)

Me: “Does the pea soup have bacon, ham, or any meat in it?”

Server: “It comes with bacon.”

Me: “Do you have any soups without any meat?”

Server: “The chicken noodle soup doesn’t have meat.”

Me: “…not even chicken?”

Server: “Well yeah, but no meat.”

Me: “Oh. I’m a vegetarian; I don’t eat chicken. I’ll just have some green beans and mashed potatoes, please.”

Server: “Okay. Do you want bacon on the potatoes?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

(The food comes and there are three fat strips of bacon on my mashed potatoes. I remove them, and set them aside. Later, the server notices them when clearing the plates…)

Server: “Was there something wrong with your bacon?”

Me: “No, I can’t eat bacon; I’m a vegetarian.”

Server: “But bacon isn’t meat; it’s just bacon!”

Me: “It comes from an animal; it comes from a pig. It’s meat. I can’t eat it.”

Server: “Well, you don’t have to be snotty about it. It’s not my fault you’ve got self-image issues.”

(Needless to say, we didn’t tip well.)