Me: “Welcome to [company], how can I help you today?”

Customer: “My internet is broken. This is so ridiculous! This happened two weeks ago. Your company is to blame and I am not happy!”

(The customer supplies their account details.)

Me: “Okay, so I’ve just run a quick test on your connection here and I can see that it is logged in, you say that you just cannot get any connection on your computer?”

Customer: “Yes! I’m getting ‘No Signal’. This is so ridiculous!”

(I go through roughly 20 minutes of troubleshooting, with the customer getting more and more angry the whole time.)

Customer: “It’s broken and it’s all your fault! It keeps saying ‘Check Signal Cable’ and it won’t go away!”

Me: “It says ‘Check Signal Cable’?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s what I said!”

Me: “Ma’am, is your computer plugged into your monitor?”

Customer: “Of course it…oh…” *click*

Related:
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 3
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless