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Will Stop Playing For Food

Rochester, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(It’s the end of the day on my mother’s hot dog cart, when I was about 17. We stop cooking and decide to hang up a sign selling the remaining cooked food 2-for-1. There’s an annoying guy that’s been badly playing the accordion next to our cart
all day. )

Accordion guy: “Closing, eh? I’d like four Italian sausage, two cheeseburgers, and two hot dogs!”

(My mom happily packs up the order into a box as I ring up the total.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.50.”

Accordion guy: “What? No! It’s $4!”

Me: “Cheeseburgers are $3.50, sausage is $3, and hot dogs are $2. We’re having a special right now, but there’s still no way it adds up to only $4.”

Accordion guy: “NO! Your sign says two-for-one! Two things for one dollar! I got eight things, so it’s $4!”

Me: “That’s not at all what that sign means. It means you get two things for the price of one.”

Accordion guy: “Yes it does! That’s exactly what it means!”

Me: “Sir, I wrote the sign myself. Several customers have come up to the cart in the last few minutes, and haven’t had any trouble with this concept.”

Accordion guy: “It’s $4!”

Me: “You saying that doesn’t make it true.”

My mom, quietly, to me: “Whatever. If he’s eating, he can’t play the accordion!”

Me: “Sir, that will be $4, please!”