Will Need To Say Hell Mary’s

(I am in the 3rd grade, when children seriously begin to learn to spell basic words. Our teacher has us all take our pencils, and get ready with our lined paper.)

Teacher: “Okay class. I’m going to call out some words, and I want you to spell them. We’ll do 10 words, so number them all.”

(The class all nods at her, and starts numbering.)

Teacher: “Your first word is ‘house’.”

(The students scribble.)

Teacher: “Your second word is ‘boat’.”

(This goes on for the rest of the words on her list.)

Teacher: “Now I’ll call on each of you to say one of the words, and then tell me how you spelled it. [Girl ♯1]? What is word number one, and how did you spell it?”

Girl ♯1: “House. H-O-U-S-E.”

Teacher: “Perfect! Very good. [Boy ♯1]? What is word number two, and how did you spell it?”

Boy ♯1: “Boat. B-O-A-T.”

Teacher: “Excellent!”

(The teacher goes on down the list, calling on each of us until she gets to me.)

Teacher: “Okay [my name]. What’s the seventh word, and how did you spell it?”

Me: “Hail. H-E-L-L.”

Teacher: *shocked!* “Spell that again?”

Me: “Okay. Hail. H-E-L-L.”

Teacher: “Are you, uh, sure that’s right?”

Me: “Why? That’s what daddy says when he hits his hand with his hammer.”

(My father has a fairly thick west Texas accent, so ‘hell’ IS pronounced like ‘hail’!)