Why Everything Seems To Take Forever

Library Patron: “I need to get on a computer.”

Me: “I’m sorry… as the sign on the sign-up computer says, the entire computer system is down.”

Library Patron: “Oh, I just need to check my email.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it’s everything.”

Library Patron: “Well, could you look up a book for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I guess I’m not clear. The ENTIRE system is down. We can’t do anything that involves the internet and that includes printing things out. We even use VOIP phones so we can’t call out.”

Library Patron: “Oh. Well, just look up what I have checked out right now, and tell me when it’s due.”

Me: “I can’t do that, either.”

Library Patron: “Can you check my email for me?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We use the same system.”

Library Patron: “But, I saw you typing!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m working on a report on the word processor. This is something that doesn’t use the Internet.”

Library Patron: “Well, when will the computers be fixed?”

Me: “We don’t know.”

Library Patron: “Why?”

Me: “Because it’s broken. If we knew what was wrong, we’d be fixing it.”

Library Patron: “Does this happen often?”

Me: “Nope.”

Library Patron: “So you are saying it’s just a coincidence that the first time I need to use the computer, the system is down?”

Me: “Well, yes.”

Library Patron: “Do you actually do anything useful here?”

Me: “Well, normally I’d be troubleshooting the problem with the system, but for the past ten minutes, I’ve been having to answer your questions about it.”

Library Patron: *stomps off*