Me: “Okay, and if you could just sign the top line of this receipt copy for the return, you’ll be all set.”

Customer: “Wait, this isn’t my correct address. This address printed on this receipt is not mine.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I realize that. However, our cash registers make us enter address and telephone information whenever anyone does a return or exchange. It’s for fraud prevention, etc. However, whenever I request a customer’s address, they panic, clutch their purse to their chest and hiss, ‘Why would you need to know that?’ Or they shout, ‘I’m not getting on any more god damn mailing lists!’ or they are conspiracy theorists who are convinced that I’m an agent of the government monitoring their spending habits through my DOS-based cash register. Or they think I want to come and hang out with them after I get off work. And it really doesn’t matter how many times I try to explain that it’s a fraud prevention requirement and that I’m neither immediately passing it on to Big Brother nor to my drug dealer named Tito. So I make up addresses because I don’t particularly want to have these conversations anymore.”

Customer, after a long pause: “Yes, that’s a very good plan you’ve come up with.” *scampers away from me*

Related:
Why Asking Why Is A Bad Idea