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    Who You Gonna Call: Sawdusters

    | North Miami, FL, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [furniture store], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, you make custom furniture right?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Customer: “Okay, can you make a table and maybe some chairs out of this tree in my front yard?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we don’t actually do any of the tree cutting. We get all of our wood from a lumber yard.”

    Customer: “But the city says I need to cut down this tree right away or I’ll be fined!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do anything about that.”

    Customer: “Well, screw you, then! My grandfather planted this tree here! He’s going to haunt you till you die! HAUNT YOU TILL YOU DIE!”