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    Where There’s Smoke

    | Wales, UK |

    (I work at a fire alarm service company. I take a call from an exclusive boarding school.)

    Caller: “Your stupid fire system is going off again! It’s always doing this. We’re having an open day for parents, and this is going to ruin our reputation!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Have you checked that there isn’t a fire?”

    Caller: “It’s always false alarms. Just tell me how to turn it off.”

    (I explain how to stop the alarm from sounding. However, it will only work if the detectors are no longer detecting a fire.)

    Caller: “It hasn’t worked. It’s still saying that there is a fire in the dormitory!”

    Me: “Have you checked the dormitory for fire?”

    Caller: “Stay on the line. I’ll check.”

    (The line goes silent for ten minutes, but I can hear background noise.)

    Caller: “The dormitory is on fire.” *click*