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    Where There Are Smokers, There Is Fire

    | IL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

    (I am the manager of a store that sells hookahs, among many other things. Since there are very strict laws in the area I tend to cut people off before incriminating themselves too much. The phone rings and I answer.)

    Me: “[Store Name]. This is [Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi. You guys sell hookahs? I want to know how these things work. I need to know what order to put things in. I’ve got the coal ready. I put that in the bowl on top, then the tobacco and weed right?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell hookahs for anything illegal. Just tobacco.”

    Caller: “Oh right… Where do I put the tobacco then?”

    Me: *sighs* “The tobacco goes in the bowl, then either a screen or tin foil with some holes on top of the bowl, and the lit coal on top.”

    Caller: “Oh… I would have burned my house down again! Thanks!” *hangs up*

    Me: “Again?”