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  • When Good Onions Go Bad

    | Gainesville, FL, USA |

    (At the natural foods store where I work, we cater to a lot of people with food allergies. I overhear this conversation between two customers:)

    Customer 1: “I have a mild case of celiac disease. It’s always so tempting to just eat a little bit of bread or cookies, but I regret it so much later!”

    Customer 2: “Oh yeah, I know what you mean. I love onions, but I’m terribly sensitive to them. They make me suicidal!”

    Customer 1: *laughs* “I’m sure they’re not that bad!”

    Customer 2: “Very much so! I can tell when I accidentally eat some because my thoughts turn dark. I hallucinated the bacon had a gun and wanted revenge!”