(I had a call from an elderly client who was having issues with her satellite receiver. After troubleshooting the issue as much as we possibly could I informed the customer that I’d need to send out a new receiver.)

Me: “Okay, so we’ll simply ship that out. I can overnight that and have it to you first thing tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “Tomorrow!?!? I need it RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I understand where you’re coming from, but there’s no way for me to possibly do that.”

Customer: “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE 70 YEARS OLD AND CONFINED TO YOUR HOUSE WHERE YOUR ONLY SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT IS THE TV!?!?”

Me: “I do apologize for your current plight, but unfortunately we currently lack the technology to transmogrify things through space and time. With that in mind we are, unfortunately, required to use the most current means of shipping. That being FedEx. Would you like that at 9 in the morning or 10?”

Customer, after a brief pause: “10. Thank you.”

Related:
When All Else Fails, Rephrase