What Would Jesus Itemize?

(A customer is shopping for his church and his home in the same trip. He splits up the orders while talking with his wife. As I’m finishing the church order, running the credit card, and having the gentleman sign, the wife notices an error was made.)

Wife: “Honey, you put the condoms on the church bill!”

Husband: “… well scratch it off?”

Me: “Oh my.”

Wife: “Oh Jesus is going to hate us now! You can’t put condoms on the church bill, that’s like putting beer on the church account!”

(She continues to flip out, while I’m refunding the transaction and voiding off the condoms. The next customer in line is staring at the whole exchange.)

Next Customer: “How in the h*** do you people stay sane?!”