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    What A Quack

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada |

    Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [store] where you can get great back to school fashions. This is Cara speaking, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, do you have any duck things?”

    Me: “Duck things? What sort of duck things, sir?”

    Customer: “Duck things.”

    Me: “No, we do not.”

    Customer: “Oh. Do you have any duck key chains?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “What about duck earrings?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Oh. Did you know I have over two hundred stuffed ducks?”

    Me: “That’s… awesome?”

    Customer: “They have neck braces. We got in a car accident, me and my stuffed ducks.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “I gave my ducks neck braces.”

    Me: “I really–”

    Customer: “The doctor had to wrap me in twelve blankets!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “Do you have any duck things?”

    Me: “No, but why don’t you try calling another [store]? We’re low volume, so we have less than the other ones.”

    Customer: “I have lots of stuffed ducks, you know. They have neck braces because we got in a car accident.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I have another customer. I really have to let you go.”

    Customer: “Do you have any duck things?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Customer: “Have a nice day!” *hangs up*