We’re Not Clownin’ Around

(This happens while I am working for a bookstore on Halloween. As a result, several coworkers are dressed up. Two cops enter the store as if searching for something and come up to my counter.)

Cop #1: “Hello, miss. We were called here with a report about an altercation, and that a witness with details was working here?”

(Note: 10 minutes before the cops came, my coworker had told me to direct any cops to her.)

Me: “Oh, yes, sir! You’ll just need to talk to the clown down there.”

(I point down the line of registers.)

Cop #2: “Look, miss, you may not like your coworker, but there is no need to call them names.”

Me: “I think [Coworker] is a very nice person, sir, but seriously, if you want your answers, you really will have to talk to the clown down there.

(Again, I point down the line of registers.)

Cop #1: “Look, miss, your attitude towards your co—”

(At this point, the cops are interrupted but a series of loud squeaky honks. They turn to look the way I’ve been pointing all this time and see my coworker (who is dressed up as an old-fashioned, rainbow-colored, poofy-wigged, and squeaky-nosed clown) waving her arms frantically and honking her nose to get their attention.)

Me: “As I’ve been saying gentlemen, if you want to talk to the witness, you’re really going to have to talk to the clown down there.”

([Cop #1] sees my coworker and is struggling to keep his laughter contained. [Cop #2] gets a resigned look on his face.)

Cop #2: “I really hate Halloween.”