Weight Control Not Included

(A customer comes up to the register with a bag of items to return.)

Me: “Hi, what can I help you with today? Do you have a return?”

Customer: “No, not a return. I want to exchange these items.”

Me: “What was wrong with the items?”

Customer: “I bought these at a different location eight months ago and they don’t fit anymore.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but I can’t exchange these as the items have been worn and you have had them for quite a while. What is wrong that’s made you want to exchange them now?”

Customer: “Either they shrunk or I got bigger, so they don’t fit anymore. I want to exchange them for a different size now.”

Me: “I’m really sorry miss, but I can’t do an exchange for you. I will be more than happy to give you a fitting and tell you what your new size is.”

Customer: “Ugh! You are useless!” *storms off*