Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,959 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    We Just Report The News

    | Jackson, TN, USA |

    (Our newspaper always gets strange calls. After one story I wrote about first aid training at the Red Cross, I get the following call from a reader…)

    Me: “Hello, [newspaper]. How may I help you?”

    Reader: “Yeah, I’m here at the Red Cross.”

    Me: “… okay?”

    Reader: “They just told me the first aid class you wrote about is full.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Reader: *silence*

    Me: “Sir? What’s the problem?”

    Reader: “Well, I have a friend who really needs to get into this class, but they said it’s full!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir.”

    Reader: “Well?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Reader: “Well, what are you going to do about it? Can’t you tell them to add a seat to the class?”

    Me: “Umm, no, sir. I’m just a reporter. I can’t tell the Red Cross what to do. I’m sorry your friend can’t get in the class in time.”

    Reader: “Well, what is he supposed to do? He needs the training now!”

    Me: “Well, I believe the hospital teaches a first aid class.”

    Reader: “They do? Can you call them for me?”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m afraid I have a tight deadline today. I can’t take the time to look into that. Maybe you could call your friend and tell him?”

    Reader: *sarcastically* “Yeah, whatever. Thanks for your help.”