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    We Are The Law

    | Birmingham, UK |

    (I’m helping at a comics show. Nearby are two men dressed in costumes as street judges from the comic Judge Dredd. A customer runs up to my store, clearly flustered.)

    Customer: “I need help, I lost my drawing!”

    Me: “A drawing? What type of drawing?”

    Customer: “The artist at the signing table did a drawing of Spiderman for me and I lost it! I need the police!”

    Me: “Okay, did you put it down at a stand or anything?”

    Customer: “Yes…no. No, I think it was stolen.”

    Me: “Somebody actually took it from you?”

    Customer: “No, but, hey!” *looks and points at the street judges* “They’ll help me! Hey, guys!”

    (The two judges come over to us at the desk.)

    Judge Dredd: “What’s the matter?”

    Me: “It’s okay, don’t worry. This man’s just lost a drawing.”

    Customer: “I didn’t lose it, it was stolen. I want you guys to go find it.”

    Judge Minty: “You serious?”

    Customer: “Yes! Go! This b**** is useless!”

    (Judge Dredd suddenly pulls big, obviously fake, gun from holster and points it at the customer.)

    Judge Dredd: “You really want to talk to the lady like that?”

    Customer: “Ahhh!” *runs away into exhibit hall*

    (About forty minutes, later the same customer comes back to my desk clutching a rolled up sketch. He’s eyeing the main doors, in front of which the two judges are posing for photos.)

    Customer, to me: “Um, is there another exit?”