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    Water You, Stupid

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Top

    (While passing through airport security, a passenger’s bag needs to be pulled because the x-ray operator sees an obvious big bottle of water when the limit is 3.4 oz.)

    Me: “Whose bag is this?”

    Passenger: “Oh! Oh! Oohhh! It’s mine! Is there something wrong?”

    Me: “I just need to take a quick look inside, ma’am. This shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes.”

    Passenger: “Well, hurry. I think they’re boarding my plane.”

    (I open her bag and find the bottle almost immediately. She gasps as I pull it out.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you cannot have this beyond this point.”

    Passenger: “Why not? I just bought it, and it’s unopened!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the rules clearly state that you cannot have any liquids over 3.4 oz in your carry on. If you’d like to, you could–”

    Passenger: “But that’s not a liquid!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Passenger: “It’s not a liquid! It’s water! W-A-T-E-R! You know, H-2-O? For the love of God, don’t they hire anyone with more than a grade school education for security?”