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    Was Not Performed In Chest

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the lingerie department of a large department store. A man and his wife walk in. The wife goes to look at our clearance racks, while her husband comes up to me.)

    Man: “What bra size do you think I am?”

    (The man attempts to puff out his chest, which amounts to little as he is flat-chested. I’m kind of taken aback, but I go with it.)

    Me: “I’m not sure.”

    Man: “Well, you measure people, right? Measure me!”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t know if that’s—”

    Man: “Come on! Measure me!”

    (I grab my measuring tape and ask him to hold his arms up. He kind of dances around a bit, but I ignore him. I go to wrap the tape around his chest, which is a little awkward since I basically have to hug him.)

    Me: “You’re a 42 band size—”

    (Suddenly, the man leans in to kiss me. I jump way back.)

    Me: “Woah! Personal bubble!”

    (By now, his wife has returned. The man tries to explain.)

    Man: *to his wife* “It’s her fault! She’s giving me a look!”

    (The man and his wife leave soon after, but not before his wife comes and gives me a quick apology for her husband’s behavior!)