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    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength

    | Milan, Italy |

    Guest: “Do you have a macrowave?”

    Me: “You mean a microwave? It’s at the–”

    Guest: “I don’t like your microwave. I need a macrowave.”

    Me: “There’s no such thing as a macrowave.”

    Guest: “Well, your microwave isn’t heating my food fast enough. I want a macrowave instead!”

    Me: “Sorry, but it’s a standard microwave. Perhaps you can check if you have it on a low setting?”

    Guest: “What?”

    Me: “There’s should a dial going from from low to high under the timer dial.”

    Guest: “It’s on low.”

    Me: “Change it to high.”

    Guest: “So, it’s macrowaves now?”

    Me: “No, but your food will now heat faster.”

    Guest: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes. Ring us again if there’s a problem.”