Guest: “Do you have a macrowave?”

Me: “You mean a microwave? It’s at the–”

Guest: “I don’t like your microwave. I need a macrowave.”

Me: “There’s no such thing as a macrowave.”

Guest: “Well, your microwave isn’t heating my food fast enough. I want a macrowave instead!”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s a standard microwave. Perhaps you can check if you have it on a low setting?”

Guest: “What?”

Me: “There’s should a dial going from from low to high under the timer dial.”

Guest: “It’s on low.”

Me: “Change it to high.”

Guest: “So, it’s macrowaves now?”

Me: “No, but your food will now heat faster.”

Guest: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. Ring us again if there’s a problem.”