(A couple comes up to me looking for something to help against attacking cougars. I recommend bear spray, a high-power pepper spray to repel predators.)

Customer: “Nah, we don’t need bear spray. Sometimes that stuff just pisses them off, y’know?”

Me: “Well, in some rare cases–”

Customer: “Hey what are those?” *points at 18″ machetes*

Me: “Those are machetes.”

Customer: “That’s perfect! That’s just what we ened. If there’s a cougar we don’t need no Bear Spray! We’ll just fight ‘em off with this!”

Me: “Okay…you sure you wouldn’t like some bear spray, too? Just as a first option?”

Customer: “Nah, sometimes that just pisses them off!”