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  • Waiter Hater

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (A man and his girlfriend walk in to our restaurant.)

    Me: “Hello, and welcome to [restaurant]. I’ll be your server tonight.”

    Customer: “Yeah. What happened to your nose?”

    (I instinctively touch my nose to feel if anything is wrong with it.)

    Customer: “Gotcha! I made you touch your nose.”

    Me: “Yes, very amusing sir. Now may I interest you in–”

    Customer: “You’re zipper is undone.”

    Me: “Oh, but I’m not wearing pants with a zipper.”

    Customer: “But you probably didn’t notice your pants are split open!”

    Customer’s girlfriend: “I’m sorry, I should have just left him at home with a bowl of kibble and water.”