Me: “Hello, How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I would like just a plain coffee.”

Me: “Okay, what size would you like?”

Customer: “No, no, no, I just want good old-fashioned coffee.”

Me: “Okay, what size would you like?”

Customer: “Oh, just the regular size.”

Me: “Tall, Grande, or Venti?”

Customer: “No, no, no just plain old coffee.”

Me: “Ma’am would you like a small, medium, or large?”

Customer: “Well what’s the difference?”

Me: “The size. They are all different sizes.”

Customer: “Give me a small.”

(I hand her the small coffee.)

Customer: “God d*** modern coffee houses and their God d*** midget-drinks!”