VH1: Behind The Sarcasm

(It’s the week before I’ll have surgery and be gone on sick leave, so I decide it’s time to tell my students I’ll be gone for the next one and half months.)

Me: “Okay class, from next Monday I’ll be gone for about one and a half months. [Colleague’s name] will have responsibility for you all while I’m gone. But if there’s something urgent, you can get hold of me either by mail or phone.”

Student #1: “Why will you be gone?”

Me: “I plan on going to Hollywood and get a tiny part in a movie, let the success get to my head, and start heavy abuse of alcohol and cocaine until I end up in the gutter. I’ll be forced to enter rehab, clean up my act, and then return home and beg on my knees to get my old job back.”

(The entire class is silent.)

Student #2: “Really? You plan on going to Hollywood?”