• Understood The Concept Swimmingly
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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Very Shy To TMI

    | USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

    (I am a cripplingly shy teenage girl, in line at a dollar store. The elderly customer behind me has noticed my shirt, which says ‘Top Ten Reasons I Procrastinate:’, and is otherwise blank.)

    Customer: “Hey, I like your shirt! You know, I wanted to procrastinate, but I kept putting it off.”

    Me: *laughs nervously*

    (The man starts putting his items on the conveyor belt.)

    Customer: “We’re gonna have fuuuuun tonight.”

    (I glance back and notice that he’s buying 10 bottles of baby oil, and nothing else. I turn bright red and turn away.)

    Customer: *laughing* “Aw, I think I scared her.”

    (An elderly woman has just come up behind the elderly customer.)

    Woman: “What’s that?”

    (The customer explains what’s just happened to the woman—his wife.))

    Woman: “Oh! Haha!” *she walks up to me* “You see, things tend to dry out when you get older!”