Me: “Here’s your drink. Are you ready to order your food, or would you like some more time?”

Customer: “No, I know what I wants. I wants the cheeseburger. That’s all.”

Me: “OK, what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Sorry – what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?”

Customer: “Whadya mean what kinda cheese? Reg’lar yella cheese!”

Me: “OK…and how well done would you like that?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “How well-cooked would you like the burger, sir?”

Customer: “What you talkin’ ’bout, how well-cooked?”

Me: “Would you like it cooked rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done?”

Customer: “Now look – when I go to [another fast food restaurant] and order me a burger, they don’t ask me if I want it cooked! Course I want it cooked. I don’t want no raw meat. Now gimme a d*** cooked burger with some plain ol’ yella cheese!”

Me: “Yes, sir!”