(A customer comes in and so far has been acting completely normal.) 

Customer: “May I use your restroom?”

Me: *gesturing to the sign right behind me* “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have a public restroom.”

(Suddenly the customer grabs her crotch like a child, and starts hopping up and down. She tries to take off running to the gas station across the street, and I shout after her that they don’t have a public restroom either. I see her run out of the gas station, squat down next to the air pump, and begin peeing. She then returns to my store.)

Customer: *sighs with relief* “When you have to go, you have to go.” *winks at me and walks out*