Underwear For The Over-Aged

(A very old man is wandering around the section of the store where we display the ‘sexy’ lingerie pieces.)

Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find something?”

Old Man: “Yes. I’m looking for something that will lift her up and push her together up there. And I don’t want her to be covered up either. I want to be able to see everything. Do you have anything like that?”

(I try to block out the image he’s creating for me.)

Me: “Sure… let’s see what we can find.”

(I show him a few different bras, and we finally find one that he seems satisfied with, and a matching panty. His lady-friend—who is nearly as old as he is—joins us. The old man hands her the bra he picked out.)

Old Man: “Here, go try this on. I want to see if I like it or not.”

(I walk them back to the fitting room, and go to help a few other customers. The man comes back toward me.)

Me: “So, how did you like it?”

Customer: “It was great. You did a lovely job, you sweet little thing. Now I need to find her a shirt that’s nice and open so you can see everything. I’m old, you know. I just want to have fun.”

Me: “That’s… excellent, sir. Let me show you what we have.”

(After I show him a few shirts, his lady-friend emerges from the fitting room.)

Lady Friend: “Are we ready to go?”

Customer: “I think this is good. You don’t have anything like this at home.”

Lady Friend: “But all my bras are from this store! See?”

(She lifts up her shirt to show everyone in the store the bra she is wearing. I am smiling to hold back the tears.)

Me: “Ah yes, that is one of our bras. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Do you give a discount for perverts?”

Me: “No, sir, sorry about that. Have a great day though!”