(I worked a phone counter during the commencement weekend in May, and this was a conversation between myself and a caller the day before graduation.)

Me: “Hello, Commencement Help, how can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to know something. Am I graduating tomorrow?”

Me: “Uh…do you mean are you walking?”

Caller: “No, I mean graduating.”

Me: “What’s your major?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Well…what college are you in?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “…do you know what school this is?”

Caller: “…” *hangs up*

Co-worker: *to me* “I bet he was wasted.”