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    | Missouri, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I’m a barber and I’ve just returned from my 15-minute lunch break. A customer that refuses to allow any of the other barbers in the shop work on his hair is waiting for me. He looks rather disturbed about something—almost frightened.)

    Customer: “Thank goodness you’re here. What took you so long?!”

    Me: “Um, I took a fifteen minute lunch, sir. It’s not that long.”

    Customer: “Well, I had to use the bathroom! So, I went to the fast food restaurant down the road.”

    Me: “Okay, although our bathroom is perfectly operational.”

    Customer: “The man in the bathroom at the restaurant wouldn’t get out of the stall, so I had to use the urinal.”

    Me: “Okay, but why are you telling me this?’

    Customer: “It was diarrhea, though, so it flushed down well enough!”

    Me: “Thank you…for not using our bathroom. And please, don’t share bathroom stories with me again.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell anyone what I did!”