TV Isn’t The Only Thing Un-tuned

Me: “Welcome to tech support. How can I help?”

(A very drunk man speaks, very slowly.)

Man: “They were supposed to come fix it between 1 and 2 today, and never came.”

(It’s nearly 4 pm, and while we don’t do those kind of time windows, sometimes someone gives incorrect information. So, I ask for his account information, during which I find out that he is having issues with his TV service, which is not with us.)

Me: “Sir, who is your television service with?”

Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

Me: “Do you have a bill from them?”

Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

Me: “Well, who did you call for the service repair?”

Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

(He then starts drunken rambling about his TV not working, and no one showing up between 1 and 2 pm. He then says the company name in the middle of the ramble!)

Me: “Sir, your TV service, is it with [company]?”

Man: “Yes, they were supposed to come fix my TV today between 1 and 2!”

Me: “Yes, sir, but you called your phone and internet company, not your cable company.”

Man: “Oh, can you transfer me to them?”

Me: “No, you’ll need to call them.”

Man: “I don’t know their number.”

Me: “Sir, look in your phone book.”

Man: “I. Can’t. Find. One.”

Me: “Then call 411.”

Man: “That costs money!”

(We loop around this for a while. I can see he calls us all the time to make us look up phone numbers for him, which the company doesn’t like. Finally it ends with him accepting this.)

Man: “In case I don’t talk to you again this season… Have a holly, jolly Christmas / It’s the best time of the year…”

(He proceeds to sing, in drunken off key slur, the entire song of ‘have a holly jolly Christmas’. My company doesn’t allow us to disconnect calls, for any reason, so I had to listen to the whole thing!)