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Trying To Engender The Gender

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Health & Body

(I’m at an OB/GYN clinic. This clinic has a strict policy against giving out the sex of unborn babies, though many expecting parents try to get around this rule. I am overhearing a prospective father talking to one of the doctors.)

Prospective Father: “Tell me, Doc, is my wife gonna have a boy or a girl?”

Doctor: “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t tell you. It’s still hard to determine at this point.”

Prospective Father: “Aw, come on! Don’t give me that! I know you’re just saying that because of your policy! Just please tell me if I’m gonna be having a son or a daughter!”

Doctor: “You know the rules. Can’t tell you.”

Prospective Father: “D*** it… Okay, then, is it all right if I asked you for your opinion on something?”

Doctor: “Sure, what is it?”

Prospective Father: “Well, since we’re expecting a child and all, it would be a good idea to buy all the necessities ahead of time, right? So, what colour of clothing should I buy for our baby? Blue or pink?”

Doctor: “I think your baby would look adorable in either colour.”

Prospective Father: “Really? Can’t you do better than that? If you HAD to pick a colour, what would you choose?”

Doctor: “Well, if you really can’t decide between those two colours, why not just get one of each? Or mix-and-match, say a blue top and pink bottoms?”

Prospective Father: “What if you had to pick only ONE colour?”

Doctor: “White’s a good colour. It’s a very popular choice for baby clothes, actually.”

Prospective Father: “Ugh, fine. I’ve got another question for you, Doc.”

Doctor: “Sure, go ahead.”

Prospective Father: “When you did the ultrasound, did you notice anything… different?”

Doctor: “What do you mean by ‘different’?”

Prospective Father: “Like, did you notice anything dangling on the baby ‘down there’?”

Doctor: “Oh, I did notice something on your baby down there.”

Prospective Father: “REALLY? WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BOY?”

Doctor: “Now hold your horses, young man. I never said that. Here, let me show you. Take a good look over here on this screen. If you look over here on the right, there’s something hanging down low. In the medical field, we call that an umbilical cord.”