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    Trying To Engender The Gender

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Health & Body

    (I’m at an OB/GYN clinic. This clinic has a strict policy against giving out the sex of unborn babies, though many expecting parents try to get around this rule. I am overhearing a prospective father talking to one of the doctors.)

    Prospective Father: “Tell me, Doc, is my wife gonna have a boy or a girl?”

    Doctor: “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t tell you. It’s still hard to determine at this point.”

    Prospective Father: “Aw, come on! Don’t give me that! I know you’re just saying that because of your policy! Just please tell me if I’m gonna be having a son or a daughter!”

    Doctor: “You know the rules. Can’t tell you.”

    Prospective Father: “D*** it… Okay, then, is it all right if I asked you for your opinion on something?”

    Doctor: “Sure, what is it?”

    Prospective Father: “Well, since we’re expecting a child and all, it would be a good idea to buy all the necessities ahead of time, right? So, what colour of clothing should I buy for our baby? Blue or pink?”

    Doctor: “I think your baby would look adorable in either colour.”

    Prospective Father: “Really? Can’t you do better than that? If you HAD to pick a colour, what would you choose?”

    Doctor: “Well, if you really can’t decide between those two colours, why not just get one of each? Or mix-and-match, say a blue top and pink bottoms?”

    Prospective Father: “What if you had to pick only ONE colour?”

    Doctor: “White’s a good colour. It’s a very popular choice for baby clothes, actually.”

    Prospective Father: “Ugh, fine. I’ve got another question for you, Doc.”

    Doctor: “Sure, go ahead.”

    Prospective Father: “When you did the ultrasound, did you notice anything… different?”

    Doctor: “What do you mean by ‘different’?”

    Prospective Father: “Like, did you notice anything dangling on the baby ‘down there’?”

    Doctor: “Oh, I did notice something on your baby down there.”

    Prospective Father: “REALLY? WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BOY?”

    Doctor: “Now hold your horses, young man. I never said that. Here, let me show you. Take a good look over here on this screen. If you look over here on the right, there’s something hanging down low. In the medical field, we call that an umbilical cord.”

    Prospective Father: “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL ME IF IT’S A BOY OR A GIRL?!”