(An old man comes up to purchase a pair of shoes. I am nearby while my manager rings it up.)

Manager: “Now, hold onto your receipt, because you can use it anytime to get another pair half price!”

Customer: “Oh, I doubt I’ll get to use it. I’ll probably be dead before I need new shoes again.”

Manager: “Oh, don’t say that! You’ve got to stay positive!”

Customer: “Ah, when you get to be my age, all the ‘positive’ gets used up. First you can’t poke it no more, and then it just goes downhill from there!” *leaves*